do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
