I love black thongs
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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