can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
