The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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