you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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