Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
