I cockslap morals
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
