i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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