I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
