once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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