how hairy? two words: wookie tits
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
