Will you blow on my dice?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
