He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
it was like eating out sand paper
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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