It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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