I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
