just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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