I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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