whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It was like getting head from an anaconda
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
