DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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