Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
