Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
