Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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