I faked an abortion last night.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
