she looked like the bat from fern gully.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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