Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm at about main and main street
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
