Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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