He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
