the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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