im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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