All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
