hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
