Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just want to make out with him forever
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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