Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Drake has all the answers
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
