I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
