we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize