Four minutes until I can fart!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
