I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
