no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize