Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
