love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
