do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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