Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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