Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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