ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
