lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
