am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
