that's an acceptable place to lick
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
