He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
