we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
