he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
