I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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