Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
