I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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