My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
why do cheetos always look like penises
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
