Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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