I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
