i already hear my dad disowning me
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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