I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
