I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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