I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
