Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize