I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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