I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
