if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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