come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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