is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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