The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Randomize
