my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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